Very CLASSY INSULTS
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- Category: VERY CLASSY INSULTS
- Published on Saturday, 01 January 2011 00:00
- Written by erly
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Very Classy Insults are phrases and comments that are done cleverly
in seemingly good upright taste that masks any hint of offensiveness.
Winston Churchill:
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill:
"If you were my husband I'd give you poison!”
Winston Churchill to Lady Astor:
"If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
Disraeli to the member of Parliament:
"That depends Sir, on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
Walter Kerr:
"He had delusions of adequacy."
Clarence Darrow:
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway):
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner):
"Poor Faulkner…does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
Moses Hadas:
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
Abraham Lincoln:
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
Mark Twain:
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
Oscar Wilde:
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill:
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."
Winston Churchill to George Bernard Shaw:
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
Stephen Bishop:
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -
John Bright:
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
Irvin S. Cobb:
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
Samuel Johnson:
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
Paul Keating:
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
Jack E. Leonard:
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
Robert Redford:
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
Thomas Brackett Reed:
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
Count Charles Talleyrand:
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
Forrest Tucker:
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
Mae West:
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
Andrew Lang:
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
Billy Wilder :
He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
Groucho Marx:
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
ERLYN:
“If you’re not careful, the door may hit you on the way out!”
Anon:
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never hurt me."
Tip of the Day:
“Buy Low and sell HIGH!”